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Airy_Princess

Dec 12 2007, 06:00 PM

Salamz n Hizzzzzzz
kya haal hain?
well friends buht arsa pehlay aik topic banany ka socha tha k iss topic main logon k saath hoti societal problems discuss ki jaeingi masrofiyaat k baais woh topic start na kar saki ajj M.K.N ne aik masla dia hai aur woh app sab se jawab chahtey hain

so plz reply n Help Others

Problem shared by M.kashif Nisar

AOA

iss topic mein aik masla discuss karnay laga hoon jisay "generation gap" bhi kaha ja sakta hay shayd ...humari generation kay log aksar straight forward hotay hain musshray ki kuch farsooda riwayaat ko napasand kartay hain magar kai baar apnay barron ki waja say majboor ho jatay hain

masla yeh hay kay aik banda kuch muashrati riwaiton ko ghalat samajhta hay aur un say peecha churana chahta hay ...magar us kay barray especially us ki mother riwaiti soch ki hamil hain....woh banda "log kiya kahein gay" wali baat say jitna chirrta hay us ki mother utna hi iss baat ka khyal karti hain...ab jab koi aisa mauqa aata hay to woh banda problem mein parr jata hay ...woh chahta hay kay farsooda aur ghalat rasmon par amal na karay magar behes karnay ki sorat mein maan ka dil dukhta hay aur woh ranjeeda ho jati hain ...majboraN usay wohi kaam karnay parrtay hain jo usay napasand hain ...sawal yeh hay kay aisi situation mein banda kiya karay ??

Airy_Princess

Dec 12 2007, 06:35 PM

Hmmm Most common problem these days Even my Mom is lyk this k log kya kahien gy aur kya hoga par ap ne sahi kaha kashif k young We iss baat ko itna nahi sochty k log kya kahien gy n agey kya hoga aesi parents wali situation main insanphans jata hai.ALLAH ka shukker hai k mairy parents atleast meri baat ko kuch ehmiyat dety hain.Mera n meri mom ka iss bat par buht argue hota hai k meko bags buht achy lagty hain n ami kehti hain k main bags na pehnon acha nahi lagta log kya sochien ge par abb woh hansti hain k its ok koi baat nahi meri lyf hai ju problem app ne share ki hai Kashif woh kaafi complicated hai ya tou insaan apni baat ka pakka ho pehlay aur jab app parents se argue karo tou unko ahista se examples de kar sumjhao k ajkal ki dunia hai kya.Dunia yeh hai k woh insaan ko kisi bhi halat main khush nahi dekh sakti yeh dunia hai kisi ko bhi app pori tarhan khush nahi rakh sakty.Iss problem main ap k friend ki mom ko zaroorat hai aise insaan ki ju unko pyar se bataye k zamna abb change hogya hai.Log kisi ko bhi nahi jeenay dety unko hamesha problem hoti hai k koi aesa kyun hai n wesa kyun hai ju choti choti batien hain uski jesy k kisi relative se milna not big batien woh ... woh simply mom ki naseehat sunany k baad itna ghor na kary aur wohi kary ju uska dil kehta hai main bhi aesa hi karti hon kyunki jab humary parents old ho jaty hain tou uss umar main woh samajhty hain k woh sab sahi janty hain buss even k kayi dafa woh sahi nahi hoty,iss situation main woh karo ju dil kahy par jab ap k parents baat karien tou un ko tannn kar k ounchi awaz main agey se uska jawab na dou khamoshi se sun lou,ager woh aesa karyga tou baad main jab waqt tall jayega tou parents fakhar se kahien ge dekha yeh hai hi mera beta aur mein ne hi tou aesa karny ko kaha tha.mery saath aesa hi hota hai aur tab meko khushi hoti hai k na dil dukha aur meri marzi ka kaam bhi hua aur baad main ami hi kehti hain k mein ne ju kaam apni marzi se kia hai woh unhi ka tou mashwara tha n yeh k m gr8 daughter [ ] tab meko buht acha lagta hai.Abb aty hain bari baton ki tarf jahan sahi se argues start hoty hain jesy k shaadi karna,job karna,ya apny pasand ka koi bhi bara kaam,zaroor apka dost agey se ounchi awaz main bolty hongy ju unki baat mani nahi jati.har baat ka aik way hai.for me meko hazaron log mashwara dety hain aur main sab se leti bhi hon par karti wohi hon ju mery dil ko kisi ki baat sahi lagti hai.Dekho yar jab insaan sacha hai tou sacha hai,par yaad rahy kuch sach aesy bhi hoty hain ju dil torr dety hain aur dil torna jhoot bolne se bhi bura hai. Not only with his parents sab k parents purany khayalaat k hoty hain,par yeh abb hum par hai k hum kesy uss situation ko tackle karty hian,larayee se argue se koi hall nahi nikalta,sab ki baat suno par karo apni n sometimes tou lagta hai k jesy mom n dad ne kaha tha woh sahi hai.yaad rakho yarou abb humary parents borhey ho gaye hain aur hum jawan abb humko unko aise deal karna hai jesy insaan choty bachon ki care karta hai unsse pyar karta hai,aaise gen gap main hamesha argue hota hai,woh sahi bhi hai,par kisi ka dil tabhie dukhta hai k jab app dousry ko koi mauqaa na dou aur buss boli jao,iss age mai ho jata hai aesa k parents k sath argue htoy hain,par phir b humien un k saath dealing ka tareeka ana chaheye,aik aaetadaal ta kay na unka dil tootay na humara,mene ajj tak har kaam apni lyf main apne parents ki ijazat se kia hai haan buht dafa argue huye buht times par main khamosh bann kar apni zidd par arri rahi aur then they think k me agey se boli nahi koi batamizi nahi ki tou meko atleast aik mouqa milna chaheye kuch kar k dikhany ka,dont forget ur rites n duties aur apny app ko apny parents k samny express karna hi sahi hai unko manaye woh unko time day k woh usko samjhien woh samjhiengi kyunki parents hum se pyar karty hain par iss sab main humien determine hona parta hai aur sach ko aur khudh ko prove karna parta hai

Kashif

Dec 13 2007, 01:58 PM

thanks for a detailed and comprehensive reply princess

asal mein baat yeh hay kay us banday ki mother agar un ki baat ko argue kiya jayay to feel kar jati hain aur ghussay mein aa kar kehti hain kay bass yeh baat main chahti hon ....tum aisa hi kar lo.......ab iss baat par usay majboor hona parrta hay
woh apni baat ghusay ua bad-tamezi say nahin bulkay aaram say samjhanay ki try karta hay magar us ki mother un cheezon ka bohat khyal rakhti hain jin ko woh napasand karta hay ... aisay mein usay wohi kaam karna parrta hay jo koi ghalat riwayat hoti hay aur woh apnay ander tension laita hay khud hi woh kaam kar kay

hamzaad

Dec 13 2007, 11:13 PM

hmm............ye tou aik common problem hay........aur me ki nazar mein iska simple solution ye hay k aisi koi baat ho tou pahlay tou Maa/Baap ko sukoon say , dheemay lehjay mein examples day kar iski advantage aur disadvantage bataye jaein..............agar wo rivayat shareeat k bhi against hon tou ahadees ka bhi hawala day kar samjhaya jaye..............garz ye k har wo thos daleel jo aapki nazar mein us rivayat aur nizam ko farsuda sabit karti hay............di jaein............aur saath hi unsay ye bhi kaha ja.a k aap tasalli say sukoon say is baat par ghor karein and then order karein........iskay baad jesa aap kahien gi wesa hi hoga.........rahi baat dunya ki tou dunya ka tou kaam hi batien karna hay...............

mujhay yaqeen hay k 90% Maa/ Baap baat maan leingay bacho ki...................10% kuch aisay bhi hotay hien jo kisi baat ko apni ana ka masla banadetay hien.......wo sab kuch samajhtay boojhtay bhi kuch samajhna nahi chahtay..........jiskay behind koi bhi reason hosakta hay..............so in dat case.............aulaad ko chaiye k phir wo maa baap ki baat maan lay.............ismien uska koi nuqsaan nahi hoga...............lekin parents ka dil nahi tootay ga kam az kam

VICKY DAR

Dec 14 2007, 07:33 AM

salaam all
thnx A-P invite kerne ka ...

hmmm tu janab bara serious sa masala hy yahan tu me tu shugli mugli sa banda hun itni serious baat tu huti nahi..wese app ki yah baat k '' loogh kaya kahain gye'' is se muje aik song yaad aa gaya kishore ka..

kuch tu loogh kahain gye
logoon ka kaam hy kehna

hmmmm tu maa/baap k dialg loogh kaya kahain gye ka masala kuch aisa hy k...
hum loogh abhi jawan hain...us age mai nahi k kisi ki perwa kerain...hamari tarf se her koi jaye bhaaaaar mai...koi gher mai ata hy aye nahi ata hy na aye..koi milta hy mile nahi milta tu na miley..
lakin hamare baroon ko is baat ka khayal rakhna perta hy k sab se milna julna barqarar rahey ...family mai koi hum per finger na uthaye blaaa blaaa...
hum ager apni anaa yan jawani k josh mai koi aisa qadam utha lain tu us per hum yah kahain gye k mai kisi ki perwa nahi kerta ...koi ungli uthata hy tu uthaye jaye bhaaar mai muje kaya..mai wohi keroon ga jo muje kerna hy...tu yah galt hy..

kiu k hamara naam kisi or k naam k sath jura hua hy...ager hum koi aisa kaam kerain gye tu sab se pahle ungli us bandey per uthai jaye gi..or woo banda phir apni izaar bachaney k liye app ko majboor kere ga k app aisa koi kaam na karain...is mai annaa nahi huti bas yah aik rawait c ban gai hy...
or aik baat maa/baap ki apni ulaad k sath koi anna nahi huti ...woo payar hi huta hy bas hum apni soch k dairey se baher nahi nikalte or wohi sochtey hain jo humain acha lagta hy jo hamain pasand huta hy...
khair mera khayal hy k jahan tak hu jese bhi hu maa/baap ki baat ko rud nahi kerna chahiye...un ki khushi hi sab se bari hasil-zindagi hy ..
ALLAH hum sab k maa/baap ko khush rakhey ...AMEEEEN!

Kanch k1 gur1a

Dec 14 2007, 09:16 AM

umm kafi serious masla hai.. vicky ne baat darust ki.. hum log careless log hian.. humien kisi ki parwah nai hia.. lekin ap khud yeh socho.. ke maan baap ne aik umar ghuzari hia.. unke jaan pehchan ke bahut saare log honge.. ab agar woh kehte hian log kya kahaynge to unki murad unke jaan pehchan ke logon ki hi hoti hian jin se unhone itne arsay se bana kar rakhi hia.. rishtay bana kar rakhne parhne hian.. or yehi maan baap karte hain or keh dete hain log kya kahenge... coz woh nai chahtay ke koi unki aulaad ko ghalat kahay.. unhone humse ziyada dunia dekhi hia..

yeh hum sochte hian ke hum sahi hian.. yaqeenan kayi jagha hum sahi bhi hote hian.. or usko samjhanay ka tareeqa hi yehi hai ke mama papa ko examples de de kar samjhaya jaye.. agar uske baad bhi woh nai samjhti or aap karlete ho majboor ho kar.. to uska negative impact bhi ayega jo apko nazar aaraha hai.. zahiri si baat hia.. agar ap ko mama papa ki baat manne main koi negativity nazar aati hia or apni marzi main positivity.. to wese hi unke liye opposite hia.. or agar mama papa isko positivity soch kar khud se karte hain to yaqeenan apke liye negative asar karega to woh asar ap apne mama papa ko batao ke dekhien maine apki baat mani thi to yeh hogaya... ab ap batayien main daruust tha ke nahin... so give solid reasons or proofs of your words... takay unko bhi clear ho..

Allah ka shuker hai.. meri mama mujhe bahut samjhti hain.. or meri support bhi karti hain.. or woh bhi is cheez main manti hian.. ke log kehte hian to kehne do.. jab humare liye koi nai soch saka.. to hum kyun kisi ko le kar sochien... woh humien achay or buray ka farq batati hian.. or hum bhi us cheez ko samjte hain.. n jahan woh ghalat hon unko wajoohat bata kar samjhatay hian.. ke mama asa theek nai hia to asa karlien...

~Saraj~

Dec 14 2007, 09:37 AM

Good topic A.P
Abhi bzy hon reply later

Kashif

Dec 14 2007, 11:15 AM

QUOTE(hamzaad @ Dec 13 2007, 11:13 PM) [snapback]2624748[/snapback]

hmm............ye tou aik common problem hay........aur me ki nazar mein iska simple solution ye hay k aisi koi baat ho tou pahlay tou Maa/Baap ko sukoon say , dheemay lehjay mein examples day kar iski advantage aur disadvantage bataye jaein..............agar wo rivayat shareeat k bhi against hon tou ahadees ka bhi hawala day kar samjhaya jaye..............garz ye k har wo thos daleel jo aapki nazar mein us rivayat aur nizam ko farsuda sabit karti hay............di jaein............aur saath hi unsay ye bhi kaha ja.a k aap tasalli say sukoon say is baat par ghor karein and then order karein........iskay baad jesa aap kahien gi wesa hi hoga.........rahi baat dunya ki tou dunya ka tou kaam hi batien karna hay...............
mujhay yaqeen hay k 90% Maa/ Baap baat maan leingay bacho ki...................10% kuch aisay bhi hotay hien jo kisi baat ko apni ana ka masla banadetay hien.......wo sab kuch samajhtay boojhtay bhi kuch samajhna nahi chahtay..........jiskay behind koi bhi reason hosakta hay..............so in dat case.............aulaad ko chaiye k phir wo maa baap ki baat maan lay.............ismien uska koi nuqsaan nahi hoga...............lekin parents ka dil nahi tootay ga kam az kam

Thanks for sharing your views

ji haan last mein aulaad ko wohi karna parrta hay jo maan baap chah rahay hotay hain ....kiyunke woh un baton ko us tarah nahin samajh rahay hotay jis tarah aulaad samajh rahi hoti hay kiyunke un kay nasdeek us riwayat ki bohat ehamyat hoti hay

Kashif

Dec 14 2007, 11:44 AM

QUOTE(VICKY DAR @ Dec 14 2007, 07:33 AM) [snapback]2625116[/snapback]

salaam all
thnx A-P invite kerne ka ...

hmmm tu janab bara serious sa masala hy yahan tu me tu shugli mugli sa banda hun itni serious baat tu huti nahi..wese app ki yah baat k '' loogh kaya kahain gye'' is se muje aik song yaad aa gaya kishore ka..

kuch tu loogh kahain gye
logoon ka kaam hy kehna

hmmmm tu maa/baap k dialg loogh kaya kahain gye ka masala kuch aisa hy k...
hum loogh abhi jawan hain...us age mai nahi k kisi ki perwa kerain...hamari tarf se her koi jaye bhaaaaar mai...koi gher mai ata hy aye nahi ata hy na aye..koi milta hy mile nahi milta tu na miley..
lakin hamare baroon ko is baat ka khayal rakhna perta hy k sab se milna julna barqarar rahey ...family mai koi hum per finger na uthaye blaaa blaaa...
hum ager apni anaa yan jawani k josh mai koi aisa qadam utha lain tu us per hum yah kahain gye k mai kisi ki perwa nahi kerta ...koi ungli uthata hy tu uthaye jaye bhaaar mai muje kaya..mai wohi keroon ga jo muje kerna hy...tu yah galt hy..

kiu k hamara naam kisi or k naam k sath jura hua hy...ager hum koi aisa kaam kerain gye tu sab se pahle ungli us bandey per uthai jaye gi..or woo banda phir apni izaar bachaney k liye app ko majboor kere ga k app aisa koi kaam na karain...is mai annaa nahi huti bas yah aik rawait c ban gai hy...
or aik baat maa/baap ki apni ulaad k sath koi anna nahi huti ...woo payar hi huta hy bas hum apni soch k dairey se baher nahi nikalte or wohi sochtey hain jo humain acha lagta hy jo hamain pasand huta hy...
khair mera khayal hy k jahan tak hu jese bhi hu maa/baap ki baat ko rud nahi kerna chahiye...un ki khushi hi sab se bari hasil-zindagi hy ..
ALLAH hum sab k maa/baap ko khush rakhey ...AMEEEEN!

vicky bhai
thanks for a detailed reply
baat yeh hay kay "log kiya kahein gay" wali baat agar us had tak ho jaisa aap nay kaha kay milnay julnay walay etc to yeh aik positive baat hay laikin agar aik musahrati riwaj ghalat hay aur aik banda us kay khilaaf jihad karna chahta hay ....iss mauqay par agar woh logoN ka khyal kartay huway chup ho jayay to yeh ziadti ho gi.....kiyunke agar humari generation ghalat riwaj khatam nahin karay gi to phir woh kaisay khatam hoon gay

aur doosri baat yeh kay yeh factor "log kiya kahein gay" hum logoN ko complex mein mubtala karta hay aur dunya daari kay liyay chahay qarza udhar karna parray laikin woh kaam karna parrta hay jo sirf riwaaj hay laikin usay DEENI HUKUM ki tarah hum par mussalat kar diya jata hay.....iss liyay logoN ko to kabhi khush nahin kiya ja sakta ...koi na koi to negative baat karnay wala phir bhi nikal aayay ga ....yeh sab zehen mein rakh kar jo kaam hum khud munasib samjhtay hain ...kar laina chahiyay

haan agar maan baap ki baat maan lein to woh aur baat hay .....us mein sirf maan baap ki khushi involve hogi

Kashif

Dec 14 2007, 12:29 PM

QUOTE(DarK AnGeL @ Dec 14 2007, 09:16 AM) [snapback]2625145[/snapback]

umm kafi serious masla hai.. vicky ne baat darust ki.. hum log careless log hian.. humien kisi ki parwah nai hia.. lekin ap khud yeh socho.. ke maan baap ne aik umar ghuzari hia.. unke jaan pehchan ke bahut saare log honge.. ab agar woh kehte hian log kya kahaynge to unki murad unke jaan pehchan ke logon ki hi hoti hian jin se unhone itne arsay se bana kar rakhi hia.. rishtay bana kar rakhne parhne hian.. or yehi maan baap karte hain or keh dete hain log kya kahenge... coz woh nai chahtay ke koi unki aulaad ko ghalat kahay.. unhone humse ziyada dunia dekhi hia..

yeh hum sochte hian ke hum sahi hian.. yaqeenan kayi jagha hum sahi bhi hote hian.. or usko samjhanay ka tareeqa hi yehi hai ke mama papa ko examples de de kar samjhaya jaye.. agar uske baad bhi woh nai samjhti or aap karlete ho majboor ho kar.. to uska negative impact bhi ayega jo apko nazar aaraha hai.. zahiri si baat hia.. agar ap ko mama papa ki baat manne main koi negativity nazar aati hia or apni marzi main positivity.. to wese hi unke liye opposite hia.. or agar mama papa isko positivity soch kar khud se karte hain to yaqeenan apke liye negative asar karega to woh asar ap apne mama papa ko batao ke dekhien maine apki baat mani thi to yeh hogaya... ab ap batayien main daruust tha ke nahin... so give solid reasons or proofs of your words... takay unko bhi clear ho..
Allah ka shuker hai.. meri mama mujhe bahut samjhti hain.. or meri support bhi karti hain.. or woh bhi is cheez main manti hian.. ke log kehte hian to kehne do.. jab humare liye koi nai soch saka.. to hum kyun kisi ko le kar sochien... woh humien achay or buray ka farq batati hian.. or hum bhi us cheez ko samjte hain.. n jahan woh ghalat hon unko wajoohat bata kar samjhatay hian.. ke mama asa theek nai hia to asa karlien...

baat yeh nahin kay hum careless log hain
main baat kar raha tha aisay mamlay ki jo sirf mushrati riwaj hay magar us ko insan ki zindagi ka lazmi juzw bana diya jata hay aur na karnay par log batein banatay hain ...to aisay mamlay mein humein step laina chahiyay aur agar DEEN ka koi hukum hay to usay zaroor kiya jayay magar jo kaam ghalat hay us say nijaat hasil ki jayay to behtar hay

haan ghalti to insan say ho sakti hay kay woh sochay mein sahi hoon aur asal mein parents hi sahi hoon ....laikin aisa mamla jis mein banday ko poora yaqeen ho aur phir bhi maan/baap apni baat manwana chahtay hoon to phir banday ko afsoos to hota hay na

Kashif

Dec 14 2007, 12:30 PM

QUOTE(~Saraj~ @ Dec 14 2007, 09:37 AM) [snapback]2625163[/snapback]

Good topic A.P
Abhi bzy hon reply later

waiting for your views

* SOZ *

Dec 15 2007, 02:28 AM

Perplexing problem...

sab k replies achay hain

* SOZ *

Dec 15 2007, 03:50 AM

People leave and withdraw rather than change. Generation gaps can be reduced to some extent by making efforts. I must mention here most efforts must come from the parents- they have the wisdom. It becomes easier to adjust if the parents constantly refresh their memories by their own past outrageousness...Overcoming conservative cultural norms, We need the partnership of parents. Helping them first to understand, then to own...

Build a bridge first then communicate with your parents. But remember some points;

# Commit to building authentic relationships of love with parents. It takes time and effort, but relationships help make weathering the storms of change an easier proposition.
# Communicate effectively, which to a great extent means being a good listener. Learn the language of parents and converse using their language. Avoid using hot-button words that anger, frustrate, or alienate.
# Educate slowly, building common understandings and consensus.
# Serve parents. Be long-suffering with those who don't get it at first (or ever) and especially with those who reject your views.
# Stay put. Change takes time.

*DhanaK*

Dec 15 2007, 04:47 AM

zamana jitna aagay barh jaayein,parents ke tajrubaat ko baherhaal nazar mein rakhna chahiye.
aur parents on their part should realize ke zamana badla hai.balance rahega to girnay se bachat ho jaaegi.

VICKY DAR

Dec 15 2007, 01:02 PM

QUOTE(M Kashif Nisar @ Dec 14 2007, 06:44 AM) [snapback]2625243[/snapback]

vicky bhai
thanks for a detailed reply
baat yeh hay kay "log kiya kahein gay" wali baat agar us had tak ho jaisa aap nay kaha kay milnay julnay walay etc to yeh aik positive baat hay laikin agar aik musahrati riwaj ghalat hay aur aik banda us kay khilaaf jihad karna chahta hay ....iss mauqay par agar woh logoN ka khyal kartay huway chup ho jayay to yeh ziadti ho gi.....kiyunke agar humari generation ghalat riwaj khatam nahin karay gi to phir woh kaisay khatam hoon gay

aur doosri baat yeh kay yeh factor "log kiya kahein gay" hum logoN ko complex mein mubtala karta hay aur dunya daari kay liyay chahay qarza udhar karna parray laikin woh kaam karna parrta hay jo sirf riwaaj hay laikin usay DEENI HUKUM ki tarah hum par mussalat kar diya jata hay.....iss liyay logoN ko to kabhi khush nahin kiya ja sakta ...koi na koi to negative baat karnay wala phir bhi nikal aayay ga ....yeh sab zehen mein rakh kar jo kaam hum khud munasib samjhtay hain ...kar laina chahiyay

haan agar maan baap ki baat maan lein to woh aur baat hay .....us mein sirf maan baap ki khushi involve hogi

meri jaan kashif bhai jaan...app ny jo kuch bhi kaha woo sab sahi hy...per in sab batoon per aik hi baat kahoon ga...woo yah k...bare hu jaoo or jab khud us position mai aajaoon gaye jahan tumhare maa /baap hain tu khud ba khud in sab batoon ka pata chal jaye ga...
aj tum kah rahey hu yan koi or k yah sab rawaiyti battain hum nahi manana chahtey in ko change kerna hy tu us din tum khud in ki laaj rakhoo gye or in batoon ka khayal rakh ker apni ulaad ko kahoo gye k aisa nahi kerna...loogh kaya kahain gye...lolzzz

bhai jaan yah muashara hum ny hi banaya hy or hum hi is ki hifazat kertey hain...ab app jo cheez mangtey hu woo europe mai hy...jo marzee keroo koi pochne wala nahi...per jis jaga hum paida huye bare huye dekha samjha woo kuch or hy...bohat c pabandiyan hain or aisi pabandiya jo islaam mai nahi batai gai lakin lakin woo hamare muasharey ka aik hisa ban chuki hain...ager app phir bhi un ko change kerna chahtey hu tu lagye rahoo...
kiu k mera jahan tak khayal hy k aisa huna na mumkin hy...
phir bhi janeman BEST OF LUCK...
ager change kerne mai kamiyaab hu gaye tu batana zaroor...

VICKY DAR

Dec 15 2007, 01:05 PM

RISHTEY BANATEY SALOON SAAAL LAG JATEY HAIN
PER TOTANE MAI 1 SEC LAGTA HY

VICKY DAR

Dec 15 2007, 01:05 PM

QUOTE(DarK AnGeL @ Dec 14 2007, 04:16 AM) [snapback]2625145[/snapback]

umm kafi serious masla hai.. vicky ne baat darust ki.. hum log careless log hian.. humien kisi ki parwah nai hia.. lekin ap khud yeh socho.. ke maan baap ne aik umar ghuzari hia.. unke jaan pehchan ke bahut saare log honge.. ab agar woh kehte hian log kya kahaynge to unki murad unke jaan pehchan ke logon ki hi hoti hian jin se unhone itne arsay se bana kar rakhi hia.. rishtay bana kar rakhne parhne hian.. or yehi maan baap karte hain or keh dete hain log kya kahenge... coz woh nai chahtay ke koi unki aulaad ko ghalat kahay.. unhone humse ziyada dunia dekhi hia..

yeh hum sochte hian ke hum sahi hian.. yaqeenan kayi jagha hum sahi bhi hote hian.. or usko samjhanay ka tareeqa hi yehi hai ke mama papa ko examples de de kar samjhaya jaye.. agar uske baad bhi woh nai samjhti or aap karlete ho majboor ho kar.. to uska negative impact bhi ayega jo apko nazar aaraha hai.. zahiri si baat hia.. agar ap ko mama papa ki baat manne main koi negativity nazar aati hia or apni marzi main positivity.. to wese hi unke liye opposite hia.. or agar mama papa isko positivity soch kar khud se karte hain to yaqeenan apke liye negative asar karega to woh asar ap apne mama papa ko batao ke dekhien maine apki baat mani thi to yeh hogaya... ab ap batayien main daruust tha ke nahin... so give solid reasons or proofs of your words... takay unko bhi clear ho..
Allah ka shuker hai.. meri mama mujhe bahut samjhti hain.. or meri support bhi karti hain.. or woh bhi is cheez main manti hian.. ke log kehte hian to kehne do.. jab humare liye koi nai soch saka.. to hum kyun kisi ko le kar sochien... woh humien achay or buray ka farq batati hian.. or hum bhi us cheez ko samjte hain.. n jahan woh ghalat hon unko wajoohat bata kar samjhatay hian.. ke mama asa theek nai hia to asa karlien...

~Saraj~

Dec 15 2007, 04:03 PM

Yeh Masla azal se hey aur abad tak rahey ga.
Here I do agree with Soz.She has very rightly replied.

Kashif

Dec 16 2007, 02:39 PM

QUOTE(* SOZ * @ Dec 15 2007, 03:50 AM) [snapback]2626254[/snapback]

People leave and withdraw rather than change. Generation gaps can be reduced to some extent by making efforts. I must mention here most efforts must come from the parents- they have the wisdom. It becomes easier to adjust if the parents constantly refresh their memories by their own past outrageousness...Overcoming conservative cultural norms, We need the partnership of parents. Helping them first to understand, then to own...

Build a bridge first then communicate with your parents. But remember some points;

# Commit to building authentic relationships of love with parents. It takes time and effort, but relationships help make weathering the storms of change an easier proposition.
# Communicate effectively, which to a great extent means being a good listener. Learn the language of parents and converse using their language. Avoid using hot-button words that anger, frustrate, or alienate.
# Educate slowly, building common understandings and consensus.
# Serve parents. Be long-suffering with those who don't get it at first (or ever) and especially with those who reject your views.
# Stay put. Change takes time.

humm
good sharing Soz ji
mushkil mushkil words dhoond kar post ki hay aap nay

generally aap ki suggestions bilkul thik hain aur aisa hi kar kay ikhtilaf ki bajayay pyar say raha ja sakta hay

Kashif

Dec 16 2007, 02:53 PM

QUOTE(shafaq @ Dec 15 2007, 04:47 AM) [snapback]2626287[/snapback]

zamana jitna aagay barh jaayein,parents ke tajrubaat ko baherhaal nazar mein rakhna chahiye.
aur parents on their part should realize ke zamana badla hai.balance rahega to girnay se bachat ho jaaegi.

Right kaha

par yahan par sawal us banday kay baray mein tha jo yaqeen say aik baat ko ghalat samajhta hay ....magar sirf maan kay kehnay ki waja say usay woh ghalat kaam khud bhi karna parrta hay....?

Kashif

Dec 16 2007, 03:12 PM

QUOTE(VICKY DAR @ Dec 15 2007, 01:02 PM) [snapback]2626658[/snapback]

meri jaan kashif bhai jaan...app ny jo kuch bhi kaha woo sab sahi hy...per in sab batoon per aik hi baat kahoon ga...woo yah k...bare hu jaoo or jab khud us position mai aajaoon gaye jahan tumhare maa /baap hain tu khud ba khud in sab batoon ka pata chal jaye ga...
aj tum kah rahey hu yan koi or k yah sab rawaiyti battain hum nahi manana chahtey in ko change kerna hy tu us din tum khud in ki laaj rakhoo gye or in batoon ka khayal rakh ker apni ulaad ko kahoo gye k aisa nahi kerna...loogh kaya kahain gye...lolzzz

bhai jaan yah muashara hum ny hi banaya hy or hum hi is ki hifazat kertey hain...ab app jo cheez mangtey hu woo europe mai hy...jo marzee keroo koi pochne wala nahi...per jis jaga hum paida huye bare huye dekha samjha woo kuch or hy...bohat c pabandiyan hain or aisi pabandiya jo islaam mai nahi batai gai lakin lakin woo hamare muasharey ka aik hisa ban chuki hain...ager app phir bhi un ko change kerna chahtey hu tu lagye rahoo...
kiu k mera jahan tak khayal hy k aisa huna na mumkin hy...
phir bhi janeman BEST OF LUCK...
ager change kerne mai kamiyaab hu gaye tu batana zaroor...

aap ki baton say lagta hay kay aap bhi riwayaat ko hi muqadam rakhtay hain
iss liyay mazeed kiya baat ki jayay ...khush rahein

haan ...jahan tak meri baat hay ..main to InshahAllah yeh koshish karta rahon ga aur pehlay bhi apni life mein aisa hi karta raha hoon kay jis kaam ko ghalat samajhta hoon woh nahin karta chahay wo sab hi kartay hoon aur mujhay nuqsan bhi utahana parray woh kaam na karnay ki waja say ....laikin mera zameer mutmain hota hay Alhamdulillah

Kashif

Dec 16 2007, 03:18 PM

QUOTE(~Saraj~ @ Dec 15 2007, 04:03 PM) [snapback]2627092[/snapback]

Yeh Masla azal se hey aur abad tak rahey ga.
Here I do agree with Soz.She has very rightly replied.

aap kay views kahan hain jin ka wait ho raha tha?

aap ki suggestion kiya hay us banday ko jis ka yeh masla hay?

seemaf

Dec 16 2007, 05:55 PM

Thanks AP for inviting me here

Sab ke replies buhat achhey hain aur Masha'Allah kaafi detailed hain ke mazeed kuch kehney ki gunjaish nahi... Phir bhi Meri nazar main is situation main jabkey maan ki narazgi ka bhi andesha hai to koshish karni chaiyye ke apni baat aram aur sahoolat se un ke samney rakhi jaye .... Un ka dil rakhney ke liye woh kaam karliya jaye per un per yeh baat wazeh kardain ke yeh sirf un ki waja se kiya.... ho sakta hai is tarah samajh jayen

Airy_Princess

Dec 16 2007, 06:08 PM

Aoa
Thankyou Every1 for replying here sab k replies buht achy hain n authenticated hain wot do u say kashif???

Kashif

Dec 17 2007, 11:05 AM

QUOTE(seemaf @ Dec 16 2007, 05:55 PM) [snapback]2628498[/snapback]

Thanks AP for inviting me here

Sab ke replies buhat achhey hain aur Masha'Allah kaafi detailed hain ke mazeed kuch kehney ki gunjaish nahi... Phir bhi Meri nazar main is situation main jabkey maan ki narazgi ka bhi andesha hai to koshish karni chaiyye ke apni baat aram aur sahoolat se un ke samney rakhi jaye .... Un ka dil rakhney ke liye woh kaam karliya jaye per un per yeh baat wazeh kardain ke yeh sirf un ki waja se kiya.... ho sakta hai is tarah samajh jayen

w/salam

thanks for replying siso
ji sahi kaha hay aap nay
woh banda bhi aisa hi karta hay aur phir bhi mother kay na samajhnay par ussi tarah kar laita hay jis tarah woh kehti hain
magar usay afsos zaroor rehta hay kay woh us ki baat nahin samajh paayein aur riwayat ko aur logoN ko bohat importance deti hain

Kashif

Dec 17 2007, 11:56 AM

QUOTE(Airy_Princess @ Dec 16 2007, 06:08 PM) [snapback]2628509[/snapback]

Aoa
Thankyou Every1 for replying here sab k replies buht achy hain n authenticated hain wot do u say kashif???

ji haan sab kay replies achay hain
aur main nay sab ko reply bhi kar diya hay un comments par

Abu Adnan

Dec 19 2007, 01:53 PM

QUOTE(Airy_Princess @ Dec 12 2007, 06:00 PM) [snapback]2622424[/snapback]

Salamz n Hizzzzzzz
kya haal hain?
well friends buht arsa pehlay aik topic banany ka socha tha k iss topic main logon k saath hoti societal problems discuss ki jaeingi masrofiyaat k baais woh topic start na kar saki ajj M.K.N ne aik masla dia hai aur woh app sab se jawab chahtey hain

so plz reply n Help Others

Problem shared by M.kashif Nisar

AOA

iss topic mein aik masla discuss karnay laga hoon jisay "generation gap" bhi kaha ja sakta hay shayd ...humari generation kay log aksar straight forward hotay hain musshray ki kuch farsooda riwayaat ko napasand kartay hain magar kai baar apnay barron ki waja say majboor ho jatay hain

masla yeh hay kay aik banda kuch muashrati riwaiton ko ghalat samajhta hay aur un say peecha churana chahta hay ...magar us kay barray especially us ki mother riwaiti soch ki hamil hain....woh banda "log kiya kahein gay" wali baat say jitna chirrta hay us ki mother utna hi iss baat ka khyal karti hain...ab jab koi aisa mauqa aata hay to woh banda problem mein parr jata hay ...woh chahta hay kay farsooda aur ghalat rasmon par amal na karay magar behes karnay ki sorat mein maan ka dil dukhta hay aur woh ranjeeda ho jati hain ...majboraN usay wohi kaam karnay parrtay hain jo usay napasand hain ...sawal yeh hay kay aisi situation mein banda kiya karay ??

asal maiN "generation gap" koi cheez nahi ... asal cheez hai ... 'communication gap' ... issi liyeh kaha jata hai k apnay baRouN ya choTouN say mokaalmah kartay rahna chahiyeh... apas maiN jetni zeyadah baat cheet hogi, yeh gap otna hi kam hoga.... zeyadah say zeyadah mokaalmay say age, taleem, soch etc maiN maujood 'gap' ko khatam yaa kam kia jasakta hai..... aur agar kissi 2 afraad jaisay parents-aulaad k mabain baras.haa baras tak free-diologue nah honay k sabab yeh gap paida hochuka ho to phir issay paaTna bara mushkil hota hai... aisee sooratay haal maiN hamara behaviour yeh hona chahiyeh.

1. agar parents ki baat siray say islam k khelaaf hai to onki baat nah maani jaye. albatta onhaiN do Tok inkaar karnay aur onsay bahas karnay ki bajaye hikmatay amali say kaam letay howay onki baat k khelaaf amal kia jaye. aur onki sarzanish /naraazgi ki soorat maiN on say maafi maang li jaye. amooman aparents, aulaad par oss waqt tak apni marzi k liyeh zor detay haiN, jab tak woh kaam ho nahi jataa. kaam honay k baad khaah woh onki mansha k khelaaf hi kiyouN nah ho .... maaf kardetay haiN.

2. agar baat /hukm anti islam to nah ho magar parents ki baat maannay say kissi aur ki haq talfi hoti ho yaa kissi aur nuqsaan ka andesha ho ... to yeh judge kia jaye k parents ki naa.farmaani affordabel hai yaa nuqsaan.... jo baat affordable ho, ossay opt kia jaye.

3. mahaz apni aur parents ki roy maiN ekhtelaaf ho (above wali 2 bataiN nah ho) to tarjeehan parents ki baat maan li jaye as
a) parents aap k haqeeqi khair khaah hotay haiN, woh aap ka bora nahi chaahtay
b) onka tajarbah aap say zeyadah hai, woh aap say zeyadah 'ilm /tajarbah' rakhnay k sabab behtar faislah karsaktay haiN
c) onki khush.noodi Allah ka hukm bhi hai

seemaf

Dec 19 2007, 01:59 PM

QUOTE(M Kashif Nisar @ Dec 17 2007, 11:05 AM) [snapback]2629414[/snapback]

w/salam

thanks for replying siso
ji sahi kaha hay aap nay
woh banda bhi aisa hi karta hay aur phir bhi mother kay na samajhnay par ussi tarah kar laita hay jis tarah woh kehti hain
magar usay afsos zaroor rehta hay kay woh us ki baat nahin samajh paayein aur riwayat ko aur logoN ko bohat importance deti hain

Himmat na harey woh... aur apni mother ko samjhata rahey ke yeh ghalat hai

Kashif

Dec 20 2007, 08:24 PM

QUOTE(Abu Adnan @ Dec 19 2007, 01:53 PM) [snapback]2634024[/snapback]

asal maiN "generation gap" koi cheez nahi ... asal cheez hai ... 'communication gap' ... issi liyeh kaha jata hai k apnay baRouN ya choTouN say mokaalmah kartay rahna chahiyeh... apas maiN jetni zeyadah baat cheet hogi, yeh gap otna hi kam hoga.... zeyadah say zeyadah mokaalmay say age, taleem, soch etc maiN maujood 'gap' ko khatam yaa kam kia jasakta hai..... aur agar kissi 2 afraad jaisay parents-aulaad k mabain baras.haa baras tak free-diologue nah honay k sabab yeh gap paida hochuka ho to phir issay paaTna bara mushkil hota hai... aisee sooratay haal maiN hamara behaviour yeh hona chahiyeh.

1. agar parents ki baat siray say islam k khelaaf hai to onki baat nah maani jaye. albatta onhaiN do Tok inkaar karnay aur onsay bahas karnay ki bajaye hikmatay amali say kaam letay howay onki baat k khelaaf amal kia jaye. aur onki sarzanish /naraazgi ki soorat maiN on say maafi maang li jaye. amooman aparents, aulaad par oss waqt tak apni marzi k liyeh zor detay haiN, jab tak woh kaam ho nahi jataa. kaam honay k baad khaah woh onki mansha k khelaaf hi kiyouN nah ho .... maaf kardetay haiN.

2. agar baat /hukm anti islam to nah ho magar parents ki baat maannay say kissi aur ki haq talfi hoti ho yaa kissi aur nuqsaan ka andesha ho ... to yeh judge kia jaye k parents ki naa.farmaani affordabel hai yaa nuqsaan.... jo baat affordable ho, ossay opt kia jaye.

3. mahaz apni aur parents ki roy maiN ekhtelaaf ho (above wali 2 bataiN nah ho) to tarjeehan parents ki baat maan li jaye as
a) parents aap k haqeeqi khair khaah hotay haiN, woh aap ka bora nahi chaahtay
b) onka tajarbah aap say zeyadah hai, woh aap say zeyadah 'ilm /tajarbah' rakhnay k sabab behtar faislah karsaktay haiN
c) onki khush.noodi Allah ka hukm bhi hai

nicely explained Yusaf bhai
khush rahein

aik baat albata bata dein kay agar koi kaam haram to na ho Islam mein laikin sirf riwaji hasiat rakhta ho aur logoN ki waja say kiya ja raha ho (jo kay asal masla hay) to aisi sorat mein maan kay israar par kiya kiya jayay ?

Kashif

Dec 20 2007, 08:41 PM

QUOTE(seemaf @ Dec 19 2007, 01:59 PM) [snapback]2634035[/snapback]

Himmat na harey woh... aur apni mother ko samjhata rahey ke yeh ghalat hai

ji yehi suggestion best hay us kay liyay

but he is afraid kay aagay bhi kab tak usay aisa karna parray ga ?

Abu Adnan

Dec 24 2007, 11:32 AM

QUOTE(M Kashif Nisar @ Dec 20 2007, 08:24 PM) [snapback]2636386[/snapback]

nicely explained Yusaf bhai
khush rahein

aik baat albata bata dein kay agar koi kaam haram to na ho Islam mein laikin sirf riwaji hasiat rakhta ho aur logoN ki waja say kiya ja raha ho (jo kay asal masla hay) to aisi sorat mein maan kay israar par kiya kiya jayay ?

phir to maaN ki baat maan leni chaahiyeh. k Allah nay atee.ullah aur atee.ur.rasool k baad parents ki farmaaN.bar.daari ka hukm dia hai.....

Kashif

Dec 26 2007, 09:28 AM

QUOTE(Abu Adnan @ Dec 24 2007, 11:32 AM) [snapback]2638489[/snapback]

phir to maaN ki baat maan leni chaahiyeh. k Allah nay atee.ullah aur atee.ur.rasool k baad parents ki farmaaN.bar.daari ka hukm dia hai.....

humm
thik hay

classic

Feb 29 2008, 02:40 PM

me late hogai...........ok bye

Kashif

Feb 29 2008, 07:39 PM

QUOTE(classic @ Feb 29 2008, 02:40 PM) [snapback]2745123[/snapback]

me late hogai...........ok bye

aap apnay views ab bhi share kar sakti hain topic par

MidniteMoon

Mar 5 2008, 10:56 AM

Maa ko Naraaz nahi karna ....so 50/50..Maa ki bhe suney magr apni hud may jo khud kr skta hy wo to kare.
Not very difficult or impossible

Kashif

Mar 5 2008, 12:14 PM

QUOTE(MidniteMoon @ Mar 5 2008, 10:56 AM) [snapback]2752828[/snapback]

Maa ko Naraaz nahi karna ....so 50/50..Maa ki bhe suney magr apni hud may jo khud kr skta hy wo to kare.
Not very difficult or impossible

sahi kaha
magar ba'z waqt aisa hota hay na kay kaam wohi hota hay aur us kay karnay ya na karnay par masla hota hay .....betay kay khyal mein woh kaam dikhawa aur ghalat hay jabke maan woh kaam zaror karwana chahti hai .......us sorat mein betay ko barri tension hoti hay

tension_4u

Mar 9 2008, 09:00 PM

QUOTE(Airy_Princess @ Dec 12 2007, 06:00 PM) [snapback]2622424[/snapback]

Salamz n Hizzzzzzz
kya haal hain?
well friends buht arsa pehlay aik topic banany ka socha tha k iss topic main logon k saath hoti societal problems discuss ki jaeingi masrofiyaat k baais woh topic start na kar saki ajj M.K.N ne aik masla dia hai aur woh app sab se jawab chahtey hain

so plz reply n Help Others

Problem shared by M.kashif Nisar

AOA

iss topic mein aik masla discuss karnay laga hoon jisay "generation gap" bhi kaha ja sakta hay shayd ...humari generation kay log aksar straight forward hotay hain musshray ki kuch farsooda riwayaat ko napasand kartay hain magar kai baar apnay barron ki waja say majboor ho jatay hain

masla yeh hay kay aik banda kuch muashrati riwaiton ko ghalat samajhta hay aur un say peecha churana chahta hay ...magar us kay barray especially us ki mother riwaiti soch ki hamil hain....woh banda "log kiya kahein gay" wali baat say jitna chirrta hay us ki mother utna hi iss baat ka khyal karti hain...ab jab koi aisa mauqa aata hay to woh banda problem mein parr jata hay ...woh chahta hay kay farsooda aur ghalat rasmon par amal na karay magar behes karnay ki sorat mein maan ka dil dukhta hay aur woh ranjeeda ho jati hain ...majboraN usay wohi kaam karnay parrtay hain jo usay napasand hain ...sawal yeh hay kay aisi situation mein banda kiya karay ??

I THINK SOOOOOOOOOOO
KOI SYAASAT HI CHALY GI IS KAAM MAIN

Kashif

Mar 10 2008, 08:53 AM

QUOTE(tension_4u @ Mar 9 2008, 09:00 PM) [snapback]2760632[/snapback]

I THINK SOOOOOOOOOOO
KOI SYAASAT HI CHALY GI IS KAAM MAIN

humm
magar kaisay

tension_4u

Mar 10 2008, 02:24 PM

hmmn
lakin planing to suitation daikh kr ho gi na

Kashif

Mar 11 2008, 08:58 AM

QUOTE(tension_4u @ Mar 10 2008, 02:24 PM) [snapback]2761686[/snapback]

hmmn
lakin planing to suitation daikh kr ho gi na

jo situation batayee gayee hay us kay liyay apni rayay mein jo suitable hal ho woh bata dein

tension_4u

Mar 11 2008, 12:39 PM

lakin yahan us ka centeral idea likhain main phir ans data hon

bcozzzzzzzzz mujhy samajh nhi aa rhi whan sy k kya poocha ha?

koi question ho.................to main app ko phir bata don ga us ka ans.........

Kashif

Mar 11 2008, 01:09 PM

QUOTE(tension_4u @ Mar 11 2008, 12:39 PM) [snapback]2763065[/snapback]

lakin yahan us ka centeral idea likhain main phir ans data hon

bcozzzzzzzzz mujhy samajh nhi aa rhi whan sy k kya poocha ha?

koi question ho.................to main app ko phir bata don ga us ka ans.........

humm
chalein aap rehnay dein ......ab to purana ho gaya topic

tension_4u

Mar 11 2008, 01:20 PM

nhi app musla likhain main ans kroon ga

wasy b old is gold..........

Kashif

Mar 11 2008, 02:33 PM

QUOTE(tension_4u @ Mar 11 2008, 01:20 PM) [snapback]2763126[/snapback]

nhi app musla likhain main ans kroon ga

wasy b old is gold..........

chalein aap ko bata deta hoon dobara

masla to yehi tha kay aik banda society ki kuch ghalat cheezon say peecha churrana chahta hay magar us ki mother riwaiti kamonN ko bohat ehamyat deti hain....jab woh koi aisa kaam nahin karna chahta jo ghair-zarori hay aur sirf dunya-dari kay liyay kiya jata hay to us ki mother woh kaam zaroor karwana chahti hain ....ab woh inkar karay to mother ka dil dukhta hay aur woh kaam karay to khud us ka dil nahin manta us ghalat kaam kay karnay ko....to iss situation mein us banday ko kya karna chahiyay