aik shararat yaad aai mujhe

jab main 14 ya 15 ka tha to mujhe aik ajeeb sa shauq charha hua tha

khud ko challenge karne ka

jese koi car jarahi hoti thi aur main cycle pe

to main khud ko challenge karta tha ke us turn se pehle pehle mujhe us se aagay nikalna hai

warna main haar gaya

to is hi tarha aik bar main jaraha tha kuch lene footpath pe
road pe pari hui koi bottle ya tin ko kick laganay ki bohat aadat thi
kionke football ka shauq tha

aik tin para hua nazar aaya mujhe .aur aagay aik aadmi jaraha tha
maine khud ko challenge kia ke is tin ko kick lagani hai aur woh tin us aadmi ke shoulder
ke ooper se aur kaan ke paas se guzarna chahiye
warna main kuch nahin

maine bhagna shruu kia
aur aik zor ki kick lagai
woh tin urhta hua jaraha tha
achanak jaa ke us aadmi ke sar pe laga THAA karke

us aadmi ne ghussay se palat ke dekha

main:uncle sachi main nahin

woh uncle aik qadam meri taraf barhay


main:uncle acha sorry sorry

woh uncle thora aur aagay barhay

maine unki aankhon main 4 chapait ki niyat dekhi

main palta aur

woh peechay bhagay zara

lekin main ghayab

thori door jakar shukar kia, bacha gaya

Main to shoroo se hi Masoom hoon

shabaash nomi mera naam roshan karoo gay tum

Aaise masoom bananey wali baat >> << main to yar aj b jab woh bat yad karti hon meko uski shakal par hansi aati hai

u ko bhi tou mika singh chairti hon na

yar uski meki purani dushmani thi buht ghusse nikaly thy tab woh hamesha meki ami ki wajah se mese bach jata tha par uss din akela tha na

bilkul nomi jesi nature thi uski pitney waali

tou unko keh dia karo na khabardaar rouye tou phir chup kar jaty hain

OK abb ju main incident share karny lagi hon me woh karna nahi chahti thi par woh ho gya
hua yun k humary ghar millad tha aur woh ju ittar barsatey hain na jiss bottle se woh gum gayi [woh gumany wali mai hi thi aur yeh 2 years pehly ki bat hai] acha abb sab meko kahien isharon main ja AP aur sab par chirako n I was lyk k koi kona milley n me chup jaon kyunki meko bottle ka na patah tha khair ami ne jab aik ghuseeli nigah dikhayi to meko uthna para abb bachi pareshan k karon tou kya karon meko aik idea aya ... abb ap sab ne soya sauce ki bottle to dekhi hogi na uss se kinna pala sab nikalta hai na main ne uss main ittar daal dia [] aur wahan sab k darmiyan sab ko taapti gayi [] aur chirkne lagi [k chalo kaam set hua] uff woh sab par aaise gira jesy baarish ho rahi ho upar se meko lagey k jesy sab ko mene noodles bana dia hai sab kehty ohhh ahhh sab ko shayad thanda laga acha abb ju last main baithy thy woh humare relatives thy unka dekh kar hans hans k burahaal sab ko sab kuch bhool gya auntiyan bolien beta iss se aaisa nahi karty n I was Lyk sholly aunty aainda nahi hoga par meka to kaam ho gya tha na phir ami ne jab sab chaly gaye tou kaha arey AP woh kya tha n kahan hai woh mene kaha ami woh ... koi kona nahi milla tab aur meko saza mili k me woh apny paison ka lakar don woh attar chirkne wala dunno usko kehty hain kya aur meko woh paise kharachna itna bakwas laga k koi hadh nahi hunh

yeh pitcher se peena kuch over sa nahi ho gya

Ajj phir humary ghar main Aik GTG thi ... pehly Quran Khaani hui acha jab main chup thi tab sab ko sharartien sojhien tab me sipara perh rahi thi par meko bara ghussa aya k jab bachi chup hai tou dekho inki harkatien main ne kaha acha w8 karna abb sab jab main totally farigh hui aur woh sab ju hans rahi thi aik line main khari hui vien thien ... main apni bhanji k pass gayi aur unn k pass ja kar uss k kaan main baat ki [baat kuch b na thi we were playing pass on the rumor ] unko humara baat karna ajeeb laga n we were lyk [thats gud yehi to hum chahtey thy ] acha main ne phir jan bojh kar apni niece k kaan main kuch kaha aur hum hasne lagey woh sumjhien k main unki buraeyan kar rahi hon really main ne yeh sab process 5-6 tyms kia akhir woh bolien k hum log unki buraeyan kar k kyun hans rahy hain then I said lo ghussa kyun hoti ho dekho tumko kuch sunai dia hum to star plus k dramaz discuss kar rhy thy blah blah aur woh sharminda ho gaien unki bouthiyan dekhny wali thien phir main ne unko jan boujh kar har 15 mins baad tap charhayi even k tab b jab woh ja rahi thien

wesy aunties noodles hi lag rahi thien sab chineese

ohh S.S main aik baat kehna bhool gyi thi

daant laga k hans rahy ho na wesy tum pori bateesi laga li na

A.P Insaani noodles ki theek say recipe batao sab kuch aisay hee karna hai ya kisi ko choolhay par bhi charhana hai

umm... now ima write sum of mahh shararatz..


back in grd 11... main aur meri 2 frndz ko library se kuch chahiye tha ... apne skool ki library os din close thi to hum ne socha k dusri library chalte hain jo skool se 6 to 8 minz ki walk par thi ... wahaan ja kar humain jo kaam tha hum ne woo kara aur wapas jaane k liye elevator k samne khare ho gaye .... itne main aik blonde aur aik desi (indian) uncle a kar hamare saath elavator k intezaar main khaare ho gaye ... uncle - elvator ka wait karte hove - mujhe aur meri frndz ko bar bar daikh rahe the ... jab elvator main gaye too uncle ne mujh se pocha " wat do u do " ... i was taken a back by such a straight up question .. main uncle ko daikh rahi thi k mood hoaa shararat karne ka aur waisse bhi main kissi se sharafat se, sahi tareeqe se bohut kam baat karti hoon ... jis floor par humain jana tha os main bhi time tha too socha ... ucnle ko tang karte hain .. since onhoon ne khud hi volunteer kia tha .... i replied " i work " him " o really ! dats nice .. wat do u do" me " i ... uh... Doctor" .. him " nice! where r u frm" me " me.... india !" .. him .. " oo i am frm india too " yeh sunte hi mera response tha - dammit .. mujhe kuch aur kahna chahiye tha .... meri frndz ki hans hans kar halat ho gaii thi lekin woo apne chehra hide kar rahi thi ta-k mera jhoot pakra na jaye .. so h e cont'd .. " where in india did u study?" .. me " i studied at ... university " him " which one?" me .. " uhh... university of kolkata " ( ab mujhe kya pata k india main koon si university kidher hai jo doc banati hai ) .. him " hmmmm .. ok ... how old r u ?" .. me " am 32" .. him " ooo .. u luk very young !" .. is baat par.. all mah frndz burst out laffin .. lekin pretended as if apas main hans rahi hoon .. me " bas jee... " him " so wat is ur mother tongue?" .. me " bangali" .. him " r u sure?" ... itne main humara floor a gaya tha ... n we all rushed out ..

abhi recently i went to pakistan ... wahaan sab loog mujhe " Dentist Sahiba" kah kar greet kar rahe the .. main jidher jaati sab mujhe apne teeth k masle bataaana shuru ho jaate...

it was gettin so frustratin ... aik larki mere paas aii aur kahti hai " mere teeth main cavity hai .. main kya karoon?" ... mera dil kar raha tha k sar utha kar deewar par maroon ... khr i controlled n said " hmm .. acha kuch kiaa is k liye??? dard hoti hai?" ... her " haan dard hoti hai .. kya karoon?" me " acha aissa karoo.... loooong lo aur thori kaali mirche, honey k saath mix kar k apne cavity walle teeth par rakh do " ... her " honey se too aur dard ho ga na??? " me " mujhe pata hai ya tumhain?" her " tumhain" ... me " too bas karo yeh ja kar... " her " acha kar k bataoon gi " ......

nxt day a kar kahti hai " yeh tum ne mujhe kya bata diaa.. meri itni buri halat ho gaii thi .. pata hai kuch tumhain .. " .. me " kis ne kaha tha meri baat mano? " ... her .." doctor nahien ho kya? " .. me " abhi bani kahaan hoon? "

meri aik couzi ki shaadi thi .... sab soch rahi thi k mazakh karain too kaisse karain.. we all decided k aik bed laate hain jis par bedsheet daal dain ge aur beech main kuch nahine ho ga ...

phr dulha k saaath sab larke gher aye ... bari baatain kar rahe the .. hum ne kahaa " janab yahaan baithain" .. aur woo baith hi nahien rahe the .. sab ko pata tha k kaam kuch kharab ho ga .. phr kafii dair khare rahe, sochte rahe ... phr on main se aik larka bola " kya yaar... kyun darte ho in larkioon se .. main baith'ta hoon" ... wo aya aur bare confidentally jump maari bed par baithne k liye .... aur baith'te hi duniya ghoom gai aur " AHHH" ki zooor dar awaz aiii !!! ...........hehe

shayad usko Gulpaash kehte hain kuch Paash karke aata hai

mazay ka tha,yeh uncle kuch ziada bholay nahin thay

bechari


tum pakistan aain aur chali gain
mujhe bhi daant dikhanay thay

yeh idea to suna sunaya sa lagta hai
abhi kuch pages pehle hi parha tha

yeh hum larke hi kion girtay hain aesay bed pe

pehle IM aur ab tumhare cousins

haan na

bulb lagaya tha maine tumhare naam ke ooper

koi utaar ke le gaya

I-M bhi kissi ki shaadi pe aisse gira? ..

woo mera couzi nahien tha... mere couzi k husband ka frnd tha...

waisse i thnk.. yeh sab se common shararat hai jo almost har shaadi par hoti hai .. lekin phr bhi bechare larke uloo ban jaate hain .... aqal use nahien karte shayad !

abhi dobara aoon gi .. tab dikha lainna !

hahaha
uncle kay hath lag jatay tum to kiya hota

haha
AP tum nay sab par soya sauce gira di

yeh larki khatarnak hay

bechari nay pooch liya tha to kiya ho gaya tha
us ko aur dard karwa diya daant mein

nahn uske Salt walay dost ne badla lia tha us se
peechay ke pages parho samajh aajayega sab

jo bhi tha,tha to bechara larka na

haan sahi,larkian itni aaam si shararat hi sooch sakti hain.kuch naya karne ki justuju
nahin hoti

jab use karte hain to tum log ghabra ke bhaag jati ho

acha

6 ya 7 danton main keerha laga hua hai

aur baqi peelay peelay hogaye hain

tum hi batana kia karon

brush karne ka dil nahin karta

aur kon brush uthaye aur us main tooth paste lagaye aur phir maun main daal ke hilaye

haye main thak gaya batane main

insaan ko hamesha shub shub sochna chaiye


wese main haath lagta hi nahin

Point to be noted

hum kch dost kahi baithay hoye thay kisi dost k ghar .. to pta chala k flaan dost aa raha hai .. i was having CAN of 7-UP .. n i was damn sure k wo atay hi sab say pehlay me say ye cheenai ga peenay k liye .. so I drank the drink and filled the can with CAROSINE OIL (mitti ka tail) .. aur can lay kr baith gya .. i filled just a lil can so that he may have the complete SIP .. he came and as expected atay hi me say can liya aur penay lga .. (can mai 2-3 sip hi thay jo us nay aik hi dfa p liye) peenay k baad kahta hai .. "yaar ye 2 NUMBER nahi thi .. " ....

I said nahi yaar .. "blkul aik number carosine oil tha .. " ..

no one else has noticed that .. why you .. ??

haha
issi liyay to pooch raha tha kay tum un kay hath lag jatay to kitna tamasha hota

tauba hay yaar
aisay practical jokes mujhay pasand nahin

just a few days ago .. me n my friend were going on car .. and while movie on canal road .. there was number of cars (going to some wedding) were moving .. and it's some kinda rule that a group of cars going at same destination keep their both indicator on so that other may follow and recognize them .. I asked my friend .. k yaar tu b car k indicator on kr lay aur dulhay k peechay lga day .. lain jee aisa hi hoa .. aur ab situation aisi tih k agay dulhay ki car peechay hamari aur hamaray peechay poooori barat .. ..

dulha sahab to pta nahi kaha ja rahay thay .. bt hum log aik sarak say mur gaye .. aur wo cars hamaray peechay peechay mur gai .. .. dulha baichar akela hi jata raha .. aur kafi agay ja kr un cars ko pta chala k hum to awian hi indicator on kr k ja rahay thay .. .. pta nahi kitni galian nikali unhou nay hum ko .. .. aur hum log huns huns k pagal ho gaye ..

ok tmharay saath ye wali nahi karou ga ..

@ A.P's SHARARTAIN ..

haath lagta hi kion?

yar had hogai kasam se

haha
yaar barra prashan kartay thay tum logoN ko

meray sath karnay ka sochna bhi na

maar khanay kay liyay

wat do you mean by THA .. .. abi b koi moqa milay to bakhshta ni houn .. bs PROGRAMMING kr kr k is taraf sochta km houn ..

main haath nahin aata kisi ke

per mere haath kanoon se bhi lambay hain