We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.

~Anais Nin~

hmmm,yeh hui na baat

very true

kal se kucch aise hi daur se guzar rahi thee phir khud hi tajziya kiya ke problem woh ya yeh ,ham hi hain.

mujhay aap ki sargoshi sonayee day rahi thee...

tum hi nay dard dia hai, tum hi dawaa denaa.

humm
keh saktay hain kay yeh baat kisi na kisi had tak har banday kay liyay hi valid hoti hay .......albata kuch aisay universal truth hotay hain jin ko jhutla dena haqeeqat say munh maurrnay kay barabar hota hay.......issi tarah keh saktay hain kay jaisay jaisay ilm, umar aur sha'oor ki manzilein insan tay karta jata hay ussi tarah yeh baat us kay ander kam hoti jati hay aur woh zehni taur par haqeeqat ko tasleem karnay wala ban jata hay ......jo zehni taur par jahil ho ga woh sirf apni soch ko hi sahi maanay ga aur apni ainak say hi saari dunya ko dekhay ga .......laikin kisi na kisi had tak la-sha'oori taur par hum sab kay ander bhi yeh baat maujood hoti hay

naheen aisi koi baat naheen
kabhi kabhi ham hi cheezon ko aise nazariye se dekhtay hai ke khud hi pareshan ho jaatay hain,zara cameray ka angle sahi karna hota hai aur tasveer saaf ho jaati hai

kitni acchee aur sachee baat kahi aapnay
"zehni taur par jaahil"


aise logon se dar lagta hai na ? they can be more harmful
islliye dana dushman wala muhawrah bana hai.

well said

bilkul sahi ... explaination bhi durust hai

Thanks janab

thanks for appreciating ji

ji haaN ....aisay hi logoN kay liyay shayd woh muhawra bana hay

ek friend ka rishta huwa tha,ladki ki family khush ke padha likha hai,uni mein prof,rehta bhi akele hai,apna ghar hai, jab ladki ke waalid ( a uni proffessor as well) usse milnay gaye to bola bhi kam sar bhi inkisaari se jhhuka raha.sab bade khush ke perfect rishta.ladki bhi uni mein english ki lecturer,always came top in class throughout,zeheen muhazzab,gave free tutions to kids etc
aur jo us aadmi ne ladki ko sataya ek within a few years of marriage her health deteriorated so much she ended up with jaundice then liver cancer and died vomitting blood.
SO? did the padha likhapan came in handy?? NOPES!

very sad...

issi liyeh kahtay haiN k rishtah kartay waqt ... daulat / husn/ taleem ko saanvi darjah dena chahiyeh and deen o taqwa ko awwal darjah.... lekin bil.amoom hum deen.daari par to koi querry kartay hi nahi.

bohat afsoos ki baat hay
iss ko mehez bad-qismati hi kaha ja sakta hay .......warna acha bhala nazar aanay wala banda ander say aisa niklay ga kon soch sakta tha
waqai ba'z logoN ka taleem kuch nahin bigarr sakti

naheen kartay AA bhai,naheen kartay
aaj bhi ,,aaj bhi kitni ladkiyaan hai jo ya to chup patthar ho gayi hain,zehn o dimagh sunn karkay baitth gayin hai,ya depression mein hain stress mein hain jisse aur beemaariyaan ghar kar rahi hain,boltee naheen ke ammi abbu ki izzat ka kya hoga,agar chhoti kunwari bahen hai to uska soch kar chup hain,ya neend ki goliyaan phaank rahin hain,ya chhohay maar dawa kha rahi hain,ya fifth floor ki khidki mein baitthee soch rahi hain "kood jaaun"? ( i know them)
maiakay walon se na milo,mere saath wahan jaao mere hi saath aao,ab woh tumhara ghar naheen.usay bhool jaao aur agar ladki ne zikr kar diya to yeh ke "abhi tak maike ki hi hain yahan ki thori hui hain" i mean
ajab tamasha hai honestly ajab tamasha hai.

aur bhi likha tha mita diya i guess i was getting too emotional hai to yeh public forum hi na isliye accha naheen maloom hota

mushkil se mushkil tareen hota ja raha hai sahi insan dhhoondna.
yeh naheen hai ke har ladka perfect hi dhoondhna hai,perfect to na ladki hai na ladka,sirf Khuda e buzurg o bartar ki zaat e paak.
lekin andhair bhi to na ho.

el alamiyah yeh bhi ke ladki ko har baar samanay bittha ke dikhaatay hain,baqaidah nuqs nikaaltay hain saamnay hi ( i was talking to someone the other day) phir kha peekar chale jaatay hain,wapas aatay naheen,ladki chup intezaar kartee hai aur kucch din baad uske andar kucch mazeed tor phor ho jaati hai "ke tootnay mein yeh sheeshay sada naheen rakhtay"


kyA hal hai? ladki bolnay lagay,ladki ke maanbaap interfere karein ,kya hal hai
kya yeh hal hai ke ladki ko padha likha dein aur financially mazboot kar dein ke Khuda na khwastah koi problem aaye to woh khud kafeel ho,yehi sab se behtar baat lagtee hai.

bilkul thik keh rahi haiN aap
pehlay to achay rishtay kay intazar aur jahez jama karnay mein larki ki umar kaafi ho jati hay aur us kay baa'd jab shadi ho bhi jati hay to kuch pata nahin hota kay woh banda baa'd mein kaisa niklay ga
meray apnay khandan mein aisi misaalein haiN
aur larkiyun ko dekh kar reject kar denay say bhi un ka dil bohat kuch feel karta hay jis ko wohi mehsos kar sakti haiN
haaN parrhna likhna aur mushkil waqt mein khud-kafeel honay ka aasra hona bohat ehem hay larkiyuN kay liyay
Allah hum sab ko doosroN kay jazbaat ko samajhnay aur un ka khyal rakhnay ki taufeeq dey (Aamin)

thanks for the reply
sitam to yeh hai ke ladki ko saamnay bitthatay hain aur uske munh par hi uski shakl ko rangat ko deel daul ko keh dete hain.sochany ka muqaam yeh hai ke aise mein parents kucch naheen boltay,how dare ke koi aaye aur is tarah unki beti ko keh ke chala jaaye.kya ladki ki khamoshi ya parents ki kam himmati zimmedaar hai.
is baaray mein bhi izhaar e raaye kijiye ga ke ladki ko saja banakar bitthana aur ladke walon ka baaz ki nazar se use dekhna scrutinise karna kya yeh sahi hai.

welcome sis
ji haaN main bhi yeh cheez sakht napasand karta hooN kay kisi ki larki ko dekhnay jao aur burayaaN nikal kar aa jao ....kiyunke meray ghar mein bhi behenein haiN
iss tarah kisi ko dekhna aik ghalat riwaaj hay .........kiyunke jin larkiyun ko baar baar dekha jata hay aur reject kar diya jata hay woh zehni tension ka shikaar ho jati hain........aur un ki feelings ka bhi ehsaas karna chahiyay

is rasm ke khaatmah karne ki shuruwaat kahan se ho.


mere hisaab se to ladki ko oahda likhakr ya koi bhi diploma karwakar khud kafeel kar dena chahiye,bura waqt kisnay dekha,phir yahi ho sakta hai ke agar ladki Khudanakhawastah susraal mein sataayi jaaye to uske paas ek financial mazbooti to ho.

aur ba waaldein bhi aware hona lage hain ke beti pareshan ho to madakhliat kar dete hain,i eman chotay motay jhhgday to har ghar mein ho hi jaatay hain lekin koi major problem to ab parents aagay aanay lage hain.

iss rasam kay khatmay ki sorat to sab logoN ko mil kar sochni parray gi
haaN larki ko parrha likha dena chahiyay.......takay mushkil waqt meiN kaam aayay

aik baat yeh bhi hay kay kisi larki ko choti choti batoN ko issue nahin banana chahiyay kiyunke ghar ko kaisay sanbhalna hay aur kaisay adjust karna hay ..yeh zimma dari larki par aa jati hay ....iss mamlay mein shohar ko bhi balance rakhna chahiyay ..na yeh kay ghar waloN kay liyay biwi par dabao dalay aur na yeh kay biwi kay liyay ghar waloN ko faramosh kar dey ....har cheez aik positive way mein aur balance andaz mein rakhni chahiyay

larki kay walidein ki bhi yehi koshish honi chahiyay kay koi masla hay to woh khatam ho jayay aur larki ka ghar barbaad na ho

Exactly

100% true

Nice Discussion

thanks sis

agar dil chaahay to izhaar e raaye kijiye ga
shukriya

bahot sahi baatein likheen hain aapnay
beshak shauhar aur biwi dono ko soch samajhhkar apnay apnay role ada karna chahiye.
main ne pehlay hi kaha tha cchotay motay jhhagday,ikhtilaaf e raaye sab hi gharon mein hotay rehtya hain,lekin agar shauhar na insaafi se kaam lay aur aahistah aahistah ladki ka jeena doobhar honay lagay,uski sehat par bannae lagay to zuroor ladki ke parents ko aagay ana chahiye.


balance wali baat aapnay khoob kahee yahee mera bhi tajziyah hai,magar aisa shayed bahot kam gharon mein hota hai.
i guess top of the all baat yeh hai ke agar ham Khuda ka khauf rakhein to shayed ek doosray se accha aur behtar sulook kareingay,kyunki husban wife main se koi kisi ki property naheen hai,sab Allah ke banaye huwe paidah kiya huwe,Maalik to sirf wahee

Majority of the things which are associated with our personalities either common or dominant,,have an influence and can be seen/judged by Anais Nin saying ...thats Uniqueness

a very nice quote

can be right with the context base approach;as ur explanation

And beside this,,quite strong and current discussion on current family/social issues

nice to read the whole discussion

kya yeh hal hai ke ladki ko padha likha dein aur financially mazboot kar dein ke Khuda na khwastah koi problem aaye to woh khud kafeel ho,yehi sab se behtar baat lagtee hai.

i agree....n heard from majority of the parents having daughters

ji i guess zamana badal raha hai so is the thinking

Thanks Aaminah

shukriya ji
haan aap sahi keh rahi hain kay baat agar choti problems say barrh jayay aur larki kay sath na-insafi ho rahi ho to phir usay aawaz uthani chahiyay aur us kay walidein ko bhi us ki himayat karni chahiyay

bas Allah say dartay rehna chahiyay aur koshish yehi karni chahiyay kay har rishtay ko ehamyat di jayay aur doosron ki feelings ka bhi khyal rakha jayay......miyan biwi ki aapas mein understanding honi chahiyay

jee har rishtay ki apni ahmiyat hai
aur har ladki panay gha rmein sukoon se rahay khush rahain Ameen



waise yeh topic kya tha?

kal post ke first page par gayi ke title kya tha aur post kiskee thee
waise baat se hi baat nikalti hai aur discussion bhi bahot positve aur informative ho rahi hai.

bilkul thik kaha aap nay .......hum bhi Aameen kehtay hain aap ki dua par

waisay asal topic to kahin peechay hi reh gaya tha aur yeh wali discussion start ho gayee thi
khair koi baat nahin ....achi baatein kahin bhi kar li jayein to koi harj nahin

jee....everything is changing...kutch to asar hona hi hay

well said

yehi baat mujhay heraaN kerti hay k taleem kutch asar kyun nahi karti???how strange!!!

bas hotay hain aisay bhi log
jo taleem hasil kar laitay hain magar asal mein us kay maqsad say na-aashna hotay hain

ji sure

thanks aaminah

isi liye kabhi koi kehta hai ke meri bahen ya beti ke liye rishtaaya hai ladka padha likha hai to main chaunk jaati hoon ke it is not enough cchaan been ki zururat hai.

jee is lehaaz sey bhi
**but mujhey yeh samjh nahi aati k taleem ka positive asar kyun nahi hota???ab agr main apni misaal loon k taleem k honay k saath ab jo main hoon...otherwise,, i would b different person without taleem.....

jee sahi kaha aj k daur main **sirf** taleem matter nahi karti for the most part....

i don't know ke parh likh kar dimagh o zehno dil kushadah kyun naheen hota.bahto se log jo taleem yaaftah naheen htoe lekin acche bahot hotay hain,to kya samjhhein taleem se koi farq naheen padta.

true
very true

parhay likhay to nahi hotay pr achay hotay hain,,,,laikin taleem k baad to aur zyada acha ho jana chahyea
am curious,,,cuz jo baat apnay batai k professor thay n he made that girl to die....kyun k prof ka image meri nazar main bohat well-educated n bright mind ka sa hay....so it shocked me ....thats y i qstned!!!

i know,for me it was shocking too and that's why i shared it here.
normally padhay likhay logon ki baat aati hai to ek kushadah dil o dimagh ka mature sa sober sa,healthy zehn o dil rakhnay wala muhazzab sa insan zehen mein ata hai

well i m still thinking about the topic of disscussion...........................what is it................confusing?
but mostly taleem (education peh comments pass ker rahay hein...................)


"Taleem means education insaan ki personality, thinking,views,beliefs,attitudes,habits,abilities....so on ko develop kernay ka process hai .......yeah insan ki outer n inner dono ko polish kerti hai...............jiss terah ek johri heera tarashtah hai issi tarah education insan ko tarashti hai.....................kuch educated log doing n apperances mein jahil hotay hein..............similarly kucch uneducated behter lagtay hein than educated persons ..................so the sense of this saying is that...............education is necessary for surviving n essential part of life.....................per kuch chizein jo inherently n by birth miltti hein n God gifted hottie hein, un ka aser hota hai insan per.................................circumstances , conditions, environment,parents,....n ofcourse...others factors have gr8 influence on a persons personality.......................bandah perha ho ya unparh ..............ek aachi soch, ek aachi tabiet,ek aacha andaz-e-fiqer.................ussay aachi terbiet se miltaa hai..........................education just polishes, them........n enbles them to make the use of best one.....................