QUOTE (Perplexed Soul @ Oct 14 2008, 04:45 PM)

kuch sal pehle maine kisi tv show main aik sawal suna tha
to socha yaha bhi karon, kia jawab hota hai sab ka.
ager maan baap larki jo uski marzi se shaadi karne ka haq nahin dena chahte
to woh usko woh sahooliaat kion dete hain jin ki wajah se
larki khud kisi ko pasand karne lagay.
to phir un se unka jaiz Haq kion cheen lete hain?
boht acha sawal kiya tumne. mai is baare mai kuch kehna chaahungi.
jab beti paida hoti hai to her maan baap ko khushi hoti hai (i think). unke liye Allah ne rehmat ki surat mai ek choti si guriya de di. ab unka dil hota hai jis tarha se wo apne baite ya doosre bachon ko paalte hain unhain asaaishain dete hain, wo apni betion ko b dain. to be fair.
ab aate hain doosri tarf yeni shadi ki tarf. kai maan baap aise hote hain k asaishain ya sahuliat dete hain apni bachion ko lekin un per nazar nai rakhte. jiski wajha se peer pressure se ya excitement ya adventure k tor per larrkiaan ghalat raste per chal parrti hain. bina soche samjhe piar ker leti hain. ab parents se behtar to experience nai hai na dunia ka. is mai larkion ki b fault hoti hai k wo kiu apne parents ko deceive ker rahi hain jabke unhon ne unhain chuti di hui hai aane jaane ki ya kisi b sahulat ki.
ab aate hain teesri tarf. agar sahuliaat na hon to obviously arranged marriage hi hoti hai in most cases. ya phir ghar mai cousins ka ana jana wo b kaafi hadd tak asar kerta hai.
ab larrki ki nazr baahir tab parrti hai jab ghar ka maahol boht liberal ho, religion itna effective na ho, ya sahuliat had se ziada hon with no rok tok. aise mai agar wo kisi ko pasand ker b lain, to maan baap ka farz banta hai k us larke se milain uske ghar waalon se milain baat cheet kerain pata kerain log kese hain guzara kese hota hai waghaira waghaira. tab parents ko accomodate kerna chahiye. ab unhon ne chuti di hai to aisa to hona hi hai.
ab larrki ki nazr obviously tab bahir nahi jayegi jab usko ghar ka maahol acha mila ho, tamizdaraana mila ho, haan kuch hadd tak sahuliaat hon but parents ki nigrani b ho kuch had tak. ye nai k bathroom kiu ja rai hai ye kiu ker rai hai wo kiu ker rahi hai. nahi. not to be nosey. tab larrkion k bigarrne k chances kamm hote hain.
wese b shadi bina larrki ki razamandi k nai hoti Islam mai. isi liye NIKAH sabse pehle LARRKI ki haan se shuru hota hai. wo agr pehle hi naa keh de to baat khatm. u can't force her. ab agar pasand koi aa gia hai aur usi se shadi kerni hai zid hai, lekin maan baap ne b zid ki hai k nai jehaan hum kahenge wahaan kerni hai to its wrong. gunah to definitely parents k sir hi charhna hai agar unki olaad behak gai hai unki laparvai ki wajha se.
doosri tarf agar arranged marriage hai aur parentes ki razamandi aur larki ki razamandi se hai to it means k koi garrbarr nahi (in most cases). aksar larkian to isi liye pata nai chalne deteen apne parents ko apne piar ka k unke parents kaheen bharrak hi na jaayen. is liye wo bas chup hi rehti hain.
i think parents ko itna liberal nai hona chahiye jis tarha se aajkal pak mai ho raha hai large cities mai. mai hairaan hu sleeveless kameezain dekh k. baap aur bhai ka kese dil ker jata hai apni beti aur behn ko in kaprron mai? agar sahi SANSKAAR diye jaayen to koi b na bigrre aur na hi ilzamaat lagain k parents ne humain khuli azadi di hai is liye hum jo chaahain marzi kerain. kisi ko b ghar le aa k bolain baba mama ye mera hone wala shoher hai. ap meri shadi kera den. parents ko pehle hi mohtat hona chahiye. acha mahol dena chahiye bachon ko.
this is my point of view (pretty long

)
any comments or suggestions, bring it on