Can You Spoil A Baby?
Your little one needs love and attention, but not smothering. Find out how to set limits -- gently.
By Josh Garskof
Introduction...
The sound of your baby crying summons you in seconds from anywhere in the house. But every time you cuddle away those tears, you wonder whether you might be coddling him a little too much.
Not to worry. You simply can't spoil an infant. Giving your baby lots of physical contact and attention will make him feel secure and confident of your love. Still, this is a good time to lay the groundwork for teaching patience and self-reliance, says Andrew D. Racine, M.D., director of the division of general pediatrics at The Children's Hospital at Montefiore Medical Center, in the Bronx. Here are five ways to do it.
Have Her Play Solo...
Although your baby may start fussing as soon as you put her down, it's important to get her comfortable being by themselves. "Individual play teaches babies how to soothe themselves," says Barry Lester, Ph.D., author of Why Is My Baby Crying?: The Parent's Survival Guide for Coping With Crying Problems and Colic.
At about 3 months, try setting your infant down on a mat or in a bouncy seat for a few minutes. Stay close by and talk to her so she knows you're there. Gradually increase your distance and the duration of this exercise. By 6 months, she should be able to entertain herself in a high chair or a stationary activity center for ten to 15 minutes. Just make sure she has plenty of toys, and keep an eye on her to see how she's doing.
Teach them to Fall Asleep Without You...
By 4 months, your baby has no nutritional need for nighttime feedings. The key to teaching him to sleep through? Don't let your infant fall asleep in your arms. If you put him down awake and drowsy in his crib, he'll grow accustomed to falling -- and staying -- asleep there. Provide brief crib-side comfort if he needs it, but leave the room while your child is still awake. That way, if he wakes up during the night, he'll recognize where he is and fall back to sleep on his own.
Let them Fuss (a Bit)...
Once your baby is 4 months old, you no longer have to run to her the instant she fusses unless, of course, she's in obvious distress. In fact, doing this may encourage her to complain the next time. Don't ignore her, but -- if you feel ready -- try delaying your response. If she's whining because she's bored sitting in her high chair, finish unloading the dishwasher and say, "Hold on, honey, I'll be right there." In the meantime, she may find a way to keep herself busy (such as stretching to reach a toy) until you can get to her.
Space Out Feedings...
Some experts believe it's a good idea to establish a feeding schedule by about 4 months of age. Try to space your child's meals by a minimum of two and a half hours, says Stephen Muething, M.D., clinical director of general pediatrics at Cincinnati Children's Hospital Medical Center. If he starts crying an hour after he's eaten, try not to use food to soothe him. If you stay consistent, your child will learn to trust that when he's hungry, he'll get fed.
